Over the seas...wayyy...over.

I started dating a guy a few days ago. On the 17th, he asked me and I said yes.

What is slightly odd about this relationship is that I usually dont date younger men. He is 2 years younger. He is also 16 hours car drive away from me.

Now, I've done long distance relationships before, but with men who were able to afford plane tickets. I'd go see my ex 1-3 times a week by flight since it wasnt an issue.

But this man is a student, and so am I.

But he is just soooo sexy!
As I get older, I find myself redefining what sexiness means to me.

For the sake of annonymity, we'll call my new boyfie "Sugar".

Sugar...
a leo. darkskinned guyanese man. student. funny. reserved. describes himself as a "pushover". ever so smily. "nice".

I like him because:
he seems to be really different from me...like the water to my flame. Respetful and quite loving, am getting to realize. He seems non judgemental and seems to be really into me.

We met:
Last summer at a party. I was walking to a party with my friend when he said something to us. He was walking with his friend. I looked back and saw his friend but couldnt see him,...actually, i did. I saw his smile. I remember telling him "I heard someone say something and I see your smile but I cant see the rest of you". It was dark out and he just blended with the dark lol. I love that kind of men. I LOVE dark skinned men.

On our way to the party, we chatted, all of us. At the party, we danced, winned and jumped to the soca music at the fete. It was sooo much fun. I remember we took our spaces, me and my girl went away to dance with other folks. At the end of the night, we didnt want it to end. I got in my car with my girl and he with his friend. Then someone had the idea that we shoudl go out to eat, and we should drive down together soooo! My friend went in their car and he came in my car. I let him drive my car because for the first time, i actually found someone who could drive manual! lol. He drove.

We got to the restaurant at china town and I dont even remember if we ate. BUT we went back to the motel they stayed at. My friend stayed downstairs in his friend's car with the friend. My friend is freaky lol so I expected that they'd have sex.

I had never had a one night stand, but for me, that night was to be it.
But somewhere on our way there, I'd asked how old he was. He'd told me. BIG disappointment. I changed my mind about sexing him immediately. I was sure not going to sex a younger man.

Wheni got upstairs in the room, i asked for a shirt, put it on (because my club outfit was SOOO short) and slept.
That was it.


Then he went back to NewYork and I moved to thiswhitetown and... have been fb stalking him ever since. This man is so sexy!

Why didnt I sex him?
How silly of me!

Anyway, now not only am I going to have his body,... am going to have everything that makes him him, all to myself.
He's coming over for the memorial day weekend ;)

They say love knows no color...

I say they are right.
But of course, we all have eyes, and well, ears to listen and heart to feel and by the time all the info is filtered through, we become selective... we "know" color.

Just my penny.

Pissing me off.

So, i dont know if i mentioned this but am part of an organization at my school. I get paid for it, but its more of a volunteer role as the pay is extremely small. Regardless, I was looking forward to March's payment because I seriously need to get the sticker on my licence plate renewed.I've already gotten a ticket for this so,...yes, I need to get it done.

Mind you, this organization has been sinking for a while now. People arent as motivated, i guess but you know...there is OBVIOUSLY more to this story. Okay, so it wasnt obvious...but there is, anyway.
So, we were to have a meeting (this organization) yesterday and out of the 8 of the members, myself and two others were present. With three of eight, we COULD not have an official meeting.
What annoyed me the most was that only one person said that they were not going to be able tomake it.

So, here I am, furious as a George is curious, pissed as urine is yellow and about to blow yet another fuse on this whole issue.
So, I got myself on facebook and sent a message to my beloved org. members.

It reads:


Sent By: ThisBlackGirl

April 7 at 9:06pm

Hi all



I havent received my payment for the month of March. I left a message for THEPRESIDENT and I along with V.PRESIDENT, had checked in the office for it but we could not find it. Not sure if Laura got my messages that I left her to inquire about that. When should I be expecting it?

About the UPCOMING conference, I I'm hoping to attend but I think THE PRESIDENT's help is needed in getting the details done. How can we get through this?
Lastly, no one but VP of CULTURAL AFFAIRS, VP of PUBLIC RELATIONS and I seemed to show up for the meeting today. In my opinion, its fine. But I would have preferred if I was advised of this in advance, just so I would not be there waiting and wondering. I'm sure all out times are precious especially now that exams are coming up. It'd just be more respectful that way.

I understand that it is the end of the year so people are busy. Please delegate or at the very least, inform your team members so we're aware if there is something that you will not be able to do.

With this said, I will not be at our next meeting on Tuesday the 14th. I'll be preparing for an exam that I have on the 15th. If I am absolutely needed, I will come. Please dont hesitate to let me know.
Thanks guys.


sincerely,

THISBLACKGIRL
555- 2345

THEPRESIDENT

Today at 2:14am

your hon. was written march 31st,
i thought V.PRESIDENT gave it to you last week.

you will be able to get it from her (ok V.PRESIDENT?!)

THISBLACKGIRL

Today at 2:18am

No,
we checked in your office, found the stubs (receipts for the actual cheque) but not the cheque.
So, i hear that it was written, because I saw the stub. But we couldnt find the cheque.

---------------------------------------------END-----------------------------------------------


I have just about had it with these folks.
I'll give details as to why, later.

Baby bump? um... no, thats just me.

Soooo, this is the gist.
A few months ago, one friend of mine that I met here, was checking this guy out. She liked him, and it was no secret. It also was no secret that she was sort of seeing this other guy. Now, the issue is that the other guy is very "feminine" in his ways. I KNEW the first time I saw him that this man was gay. He can say otherwise, But i am convinced that he is gay.
I mean, i whine'd on this man once and he beat me to tha whine!!!
YES!!! a white GUY beat me to a whine!

No, hes gay.

But i thought she had no clue, so i pitied her in silence. I later found out that she had asked him and he claimed to be straight. I told her that she needed to realise that he was in denial. That man was obviously stricktly dickly.

Anyway, moving on.

So man A, was the other one she liked, and she liked him alot. They had sex, and she was hoping that they would be together. He later wrote her a letter saying he couldnt/didnt want to be with her. She was devastated. She cried, she sulked, she was angry, she was miserable. Apparently, she said he led her on.
I'm sorry, BUT i disagree.
There was no sign in my eyes that that man liked her.

But, i kept my mouth shut and let her vent anyway.

So... Man B, was the one she stuck with, TILL she realized she was pregnant.
That turned the table.
Man B and her broke up (well, hes gay anyway so they didnt kiss, hold hands, have sex... NO sexual interaction whatsoever.... they were pretty much, friends. She was his hiding post from the world's pointed fingers).

Man A and her got close. She said she didnt like him anymore and that he was allllll over her.
She said he wanted her baddd!
blablabla.
Anyway, she told the world she was pregnant.
But something was weird.

I have had sisters and friends who were pregnant.
PREGNANT people, tend to yap a lot about their womb, body, sickneses, baby, excitement blablayad.
but this girl's case was different. She mostly talked about Man A's reaction to the pregnancy and how they've gotten so close. But not much about the baby!

So i was not suprised today when she said she was feeling sick to her stomach (because of morning sickness) at a meeting she had last week... then made the mistake of telling me
"Oh, by the way, i lost the baby a month ago"
If you're going to lie, lie right.

She was never pregnant.

Snowed in

Snowed all day yesterday.
Yes, its April, and yes, it snowed. OMG its like the middle of December out there!
I have to go over to the school... Teresa is there. She is in the library and i have a paper due tomorrow that i really should get started on. The library is only open for an hour more (till 4pm)...actually not the library. Library closed at 3pm, if you can believe it. Anyway... am on my way to the computer lab.

This is my first post.

And I am not even sure where to start.


In the 7 months that I have lived here, I have seen a lot more than I had ever imagined.
I have done so much more than I probably did last year.
I also, have evolved.


I moved to this town on August 31st 2008. I moved here to restart school. My accademic improvements (and lack there of) will be documented in my other blog (Daring to achieve a dream).
When I moved here, I packed up my dog, and the little items I could fit in my car and my mom's car. And came down, driving my car while my mom and sister were in the other.
I moved here, with my dreadlocks. Knowing that I would NOT get a chance to have someone retighten them here.
I moved here, leaving my possessions in the city, giving a lot away, and knowing that this was a big change for me.
But i said to myself... as long as I had my dog, as long as I had my car, as long as I had my goals, I can survive anywhere.
There are times when I have gotten so depressed that it'd hurt. That I got sick from crying. Times when I could not think of anything but shame. See... life has funny ways of reorientating you to who you are to be.
Not to say they made me better or worse, but my experiences here, have made me.

I have met a few people here.
1. A black girl that happens to be born a day before me.
she is cool and a christian. I actually went to church with her twice before getting lazy lol. She used to live in the school's campus with me, until she convinced her sister to move here and they got a place and moved in together. Something tells me that she often regrets that. But am sure that she sometimes loves it too. It cant be easy living with others, even when they're family members.

2. A black woman.
She is a really calm motivating woman. I have said I would visit her, so often that now I dont even say it anymore. I am yet to go visit her. She lives in this town with her kids and husband. I will go see them sometime this summer.

3. Three Asian girls.
One is indian, the other two are from the philipines.
I know I'll be venting alot about these three.
Not only because I find them annoying most of the time, but also because other than with myself, they are truly the ones I spend most times with.

4. The coworkers at school
I not only am a student at the school, I also work there within a student group. Most of my adventures would involve this group and alsothe people within it. Ispend a lot of time around these people (8 people in total) but goodness, some of them stress me out.
Ihave had to report one of them for using the "N" word.

I keep saying... I have not heard the N word somuch in such litle time till I moved tothis town.

5. The students in my class
Some of them I appreciate and love to death. Others, I know that I cant wait to someday get a chance to knock the fuck out.
But for the most part, there are better apples than rotten ones.

6.The black folks in the city
There arent many.
I have met three in clubs, met about four others in club-related places.
They all seem to be here for jobs.
Mind you, there is also a black guy at school.
We have four black people at my school.
Before this black guy started at the school ,we had anotehr black guy. He graduated however, before the second one was admitted.


So, here i am, wondering whats up with this world.

My somewhat) friend who has been married for 2 years, just told me she kicked her hubby out, as she found out that he has been frequenting dating sites.

Well... that sort of makes me wonder...whats the point of marriage again?